


Keep Me Sane

by ElopeToTheSea



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Amnesia, Being Lost, Body Horror, Child Karkat, Fantasy, M/M, Paranormal, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Amnesia, Worldbuilding, child gamzee, exploring new worlds, gamzee is a cinnamon roll FIGHT ME, its a bit of lowkey horror, theyre more or less humans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 17:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19233787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElopeToTheSea/pseuds/ElopeToTheSea
Summary: Gamzee is aware that he's not entirely there. The world around him is weird. There's a lot of things he can't understand, and he doesn't have any of his memories.Regardless, he has a friend. A friend for who he'd do anything. Anything in the world.Anything at all.





	Keep Me Sane

You stare at the ceiling of the room. It’s gray and mostly covered in dirt.

Boring.

You wished there were more colors, maybe a rainbow painted in the walls, colorful and fun ceiling, not the boring plain one that lays on top of you.

Wait.

Where are you?

You don’t remember ever watching such a boring ceiling in your life, but then again, you don’t remember a thing.

You sit up from your bed and look around.

Everything is weird and unfamiliar. Nothingness fills the room. Ans aside from the bed, there’s little to see. Weirdly enough though, there is a window, but you can’t see anything through it. It’s colored a horrible gray, with a deformed ‘n’ painted in dark purple.

When you see it, your stomach makes a weird turn, churning, and growling. It makes you sick, so you tear your eyes away from it. Shaking your head, you wish you could paint over it, so as to never have to see it again.

You get out of the bed, turning your back to the window. You don’t want to see it, you don’t want to face it. So, you try to escape it.

The door is heavy, it doesn’t give in, even if you push as hard as you can. You’re tempted to give up, but the symbols on the ceiling burn holes on your back. They make you scared, they’re trying to haunt you; accuse you.

You can’t stand it. They drive you crazy.

You push at the door again. A force which you aren’t where it came from, let’s you open it wide. The sight of the endless void makes your heart throb.  There is something waiting for you. Somewhere; something important. You need to find it. Although you aren’t sure how you’ll do that.

Taking a step forward, you let go. The loud sound from the door hitting the frame scares you, and you let out a soft ‘Honk’.

There are footsteps echoing through, and you the way your entire body freezes at the sound, can’t be good. You turn around, searching for somewhere to go. It’s a narrow hall, gray just like the room, with many, many, many doors. The footsteps come closer, resounding; it scares the shit out of you.

Suddenly, there is a loud, loud laugh. Footsteps become louder, and the air in the hall turns colder. You hear someone’s voice, and panic when you don’t recognize it.

You run. Because there is no other thing to do. You hear a laugh; shivers run down your spine.

“Come back, Makara!” The shouts, the yells. They all flood your head. The voice, loud and evil, make your bones shake. “I won’t harm you! Not even the least!”

You can’t believe it.

Your feet get tangled and trip forward. There’s blood on your need, making a hiss escape your mouth. The pain is so strong you want to cry.

“Leave me alone!” You yell back. The strain of fear can be heard loud and clear.

Everything hurts, and you can’t find the strength to get up. You are scared and crying. Torn in a battle between the petrifying fear and the never-ending need to escape, the sounds come closer as you tear well up on your face.

Eventually, without your full control, your body runs. Out of instinct more than reason.

It hurts like hell, but the voice drifts farther and farther, and that’s all you need. You look around, trying to find somewhere to hide.

“I don’t want you, Makara!” It shouts again. You barely register what it’s saying. You are more worried about finding an open door in the hall full of doors that won’t open. “It’s your little friend, I’m searching for!”

“You are crazy!” You shout back, and open the nearest door, just to find a horrible creature inside. One with sickly skin, almost green and putrid. A scream escapes you, and immediately close the door shut as quick as you opened it.

When you come back to your senses, and hear the maniac laugh, you know it would have been better to hide next to the demoniac skeleton inside, than this person.

Totally scared and in panic, you run faster. You spot a door. In the far end of the corridor, it stands like any other.

For some reason, you decide to use it as your hiding spot.

You open it, relieved when you see there is no skeleton inside of it, and hide.

You hide under the bed. You don’t like hiding under the bed, that’s where the monsters hide. Right now, you don’t care though. There are far scarier monsters outside the door than the ones under the bed.

You hear the steps, getting closer and closer, you see the light that glows under the little opening of the door. You hear that person’s laugh.

“Where are you, little clown?!” The monster keeps screaming. You know it standing right outside this bedroom. “Where is he!?”

“Serket,” a voice in complete passivity calls, making the monster stop screaming. If only for a minute. “Could you please stop this nonsense?”

“I need to find the clown!” It screams. It scares you, and you hide further under the hole of the bed.

“I can assure you this is not helping.” The voice of the other person is strong but calm, and you can see the red in their voice. It’s angry. “No matter the circumstances, I don’t accept your ways, you understand?”

“Sure, whatever little Seer…” the monster says to the ‘Seer’. “I’ll stop for now, but don’t forget it. My ways might be a little crazy, but you can’t deny they work. I’ll find the clown, it’s little friend, and put them _both_ to sleep.”

 With the final dark tone of their voice, the monster storms out. You stare at the light. The Seer is still standing in front of the room, and even if it helped you, you are worried it might try to hurt you too.

“I know you are in there, Makara,” the Seer calls. You freeze in your spot. Scared it might want to come in and chase you. “I won’t force you to come to me. That’s not my style, but if you want to talk to someone, ask Kanaya where I am.”

With that, the Seer is gone.                                                                                                                                            

You let out a huge sigh of relief.

Hesitant, you crawl out of under the bed and you stand up. The room is very similar to the one you left. With boring gray paint and closed windows that hide the beautiful sky. There is a ‘n’ painted in it too. You realize you came back, right to the room you just left.

You consider going back out, but you stop. The idea darkening quickly at the image of the monster still out there.

Waiting.

With a shiver, you go as far away from the door as you can. No fucking way you’ll go out there.

You start considering breaking the window and jumping out when you hear something.

A soft sound at first, barely there if at all, but as you start calming down, it becomes louder.

It comes from the corner of the room. You walk slowly towards it. There’s a closet in the back, but there’s a space, between it and the wall.

It’s incredibly small, nothing would be able to fit in there, you think. But you are surprised. When you peek into the little space, you see an even littler person.

The little person is crying, and it makes you sad.

You don’t want the little person to be sad.

“Hey, little person.” You call, the sound stops. “What are you doing there all motherfuckin’ alone?”

“Leave me alone, you jackass!” the little person screams, hiding their face in their arms.

You back away slightly, your head moving to the side to catch a proper glance. Their voice is trembling, and you can’t help it when your heartaches.

“But you are crying,” you tell them, voice low and worried. You kneel, to see them better.

“I’m not crying!” the little person screams back. It makes you flinch, but it’s not because you are hurt. Their voice is loud, so it makes you dizzy.  “Go away!”

“No, I won’t,” you say, determined. Letting the weight of your body drop, you sit down. “I don’t want you to be all motherfucking sad, like that. Come out here, bro.”

The little person considers this.  You see them hesitate, so you smile - even if they probably can’t see it- and stretch your arm.

“I won’t harm you, I promise,” you tell them, your big teeth showing.

Finally, they uncover their face.

A blush creeps up your face when you see them, or to be more precise, him.

Red eyes, red cheeks, a little button nose, and the cutest fuckin’ pout you had ever seen in your life. You’re definitely gaping, but it’s hard not to when he’s so cute.

“You promise you won’t hurt me?” he asks, voice low and shaking. He’s scared, you can tell.

So, you shake your head a bit, trying to snap out of it. A wide smile spreads through, making sure you show them how non-threatening you are.  

“Yeah! I won’t hurt you. I promise!”

“But you’re a clown,” he says, almost with disgusts. His eyes running up and down your body, examining your every move. It makes you blink twice.

“Ah? What do you mean?” You are confused.  Yeah, you dress like a clown, and you like painting your face like one, but it’s not something to be scared of. “Are you scared of clowns?”

“Of course, I am, you dipshit!” he screams. You would consider laughing if it weren’t for the fear in his eyes. “The Clown is the one who is chasing me!”

“The Clown?” You are not the smartest person, so it is difficult to keep track of what is happening.

“There is an evil clown hunting in these corridors, didn’t you know?” He curls up, trying to hide his face again.  “He’s chasing me.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Why is he chasin’ you, little person?”

“Stop calling me that!” He spats, with anger. “I’m not sure why. I just woke up, and he started saying all these fucking creepy things…”

The little person is whimpering. He’s frustrated more than sad, you think. And more scared than frustrated.

“Like what? I don’t think it can’t be all that motherfuckin’ bad…” You try to cheer him up.

“It is.” He tells you. “Along the lines of ‘I will kill you’ and ‘You deserve to die’…Not that it’s not true…”

“It’s not!” You blurt out before you can control yourself. “Don’t think like that, little person…”

He stares at you. You are a little embarrassed, for saying that.

“Karkat.” He sighs. It catches you off guard. He rolls his eyes when he sees your confused face. “Karkat Vantas, that’s my name. Stop calling me ‘Little person.’ It’s pissing me off.”

You grin.

“Then, I’m Gamzee! Nice to meet you, Karbro!” You stretch your arm for him to take your hand. “You gonna come out?”

He frowns but still takes it. It’s so tiny against yours! Like a baby’s. You try your hardest against cooing because you -for some reason- feel like he would get mad at that too.

Instead, you help him get out.

“Whatever, you dipshit…” he says, stepping out of the shadow of the closet. “So, now what?”

You turn around, there’s nothing fun in the room. It’s empty, aside from the bed and the bedside table.

You shrug.

He sighs.

There’s a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” you ask.

“Um…I won’t hurt you? I just want to make sure you are alright…”

You stare at Karkat, but he just shrugs. Apparently, he’s as lost as you.

You decide to open the door, just to see a man with wheels instead of legs, and a ghost pushing him to move.

“Wahh…” you exclaim immediately, fascinated. “You have wheels for legs! How awesome! Tell me, can you go fast?”

“Not really…” he says a little nervous, you realize this, and decide not to say more. Still, wheel-legs are pretty cool. “I’m Tavros, I’m in charge of taking care of you. I think is better to introduce myself properly, so you don’t feel scared.”

He’s smiling, and you think he’s a nice person. You smile back, but you’re distracted by the girl standing next to him.

“And who is the little Miss Ghosty?” you ask, trying to be polite. You truly hope you are! But you have the feeling that what comes out of your mouth isn’t always polite -no matter if you try really hard.

“Oh, me? Wow, you are the first to ask my name, little clown!” she tells you, cheerfully. “I’m Aradia Megido, just call me Aradia. I’m also here to help you if you need anything. Mostly, I help Tavros. His wheel-legs sometimes get stuck.”

She gives you a warm smile, and from her back, you see a faint sparkle. She has wings. Pretty crystal wings, which make her float.

“Are you a Fairy Ghost?” you ask. She laughs as if you have just told the funniest joke. Tavros looks at you worriedly though.

“Yes! You caught me! I’m a Fairy Ghost! I’m here to help every lost soul who can’t get to the new world!” She laughs happily. She pokes your nose. “And, who are you, my little clown?”

“My name is Gamzee!” you answer happily. Then you see Karkat standing behind you. You pull him so he can stand beside you. “And this is Karkat! He’s my best friend now!”

Tavros is acting weird, but Aradia keeps smiling.

“Oh, pleased to meet you Karkat!” She says stretching her hand out, to greet him. He takes her hand, but he doesn’t answer back. That’s weird.

“Hey, Karbro, what’s wrong?” You push him a little. He slaps your hand. You wouldn’t mind, but this means there’s something bothering him.  “Are you feeling alright, motherfucker?”

You are worried, maybe he hates you.

Or worst yet, scared of you.

He gives a loud, deep sigh, and talks in your ear.

‘I’m fine, you idiot.’

This makes you feel a little better, yet more worried.

“Then, why don’t you talk, motherfucker?” You ask him.

‘Long story just keep talking to them. Don’t mind me.’

“If you say so…” You arch an eyebrow and turn to look at Aradia and Tavros. “Sorry, I think Karbro is not feeling all that fine…”

“I hope I’m not making him uncomfortable…” Aradia says. You shake your head.

“Nah, he’s just a tiny bitsy tired, I think…”

“Aradia.” Tavros looks really disturbed. “I really think we should get going. We still need to check on Kanaya…”

“Oh, yeah! Poor thing…” She sighs and gives a sad smile to the air. “I hope she gets better. Anyway, if you need anything, we are down this hall, you’ll see a big round thing, we usually rest there. But don’t worry, we’ll check on you either way!”

“Thank you, Miss Fairy Ghosty.” You tell her. “Wheel-legs.”

“Call me Tavros. I insist.” He forces a smile.

“Bye, Miss Ghosty. Bye Tavbro!” You wave them.

“Oh, and one last thing, Little Clown!” Aradia tells you, as she pushes Tavbro. “We’ll be serving breakfast in half an hour, get there soon!”

She waves you and they disappear in the gray corridors.

“She’s a nice Fairy…” You say.

“I can’t argue with that…” Karkat says.

“Oh, thanks the messiahs, you are talking again!” You hug him, but he immediately fights back for you to let go.

“Of course, I am!” He all but yells at you. “I can talk. It’s just that I don’t like talking in front of others.”

“Why?”

“That’s none of your fucking business!” he says. You shrug. He’s kinda right, after all.

“It’s alright, motherfucker. If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t need to. But if someday you need to let it all out, I’m here for you Karbro.”

“Whatever, you fucking clown.”

“Honk.” You let it out, and he shivers.

“That’s creepy…”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry of.” He rolls his eyes. “Anyway, Miss Ghosty told us to go eat, didn’t she?”

“Yeah…” You recall.

“Well, we better get going. This place is as huge as the fucking sea,” he says and takes your hand again.

It’s warm, he doesn’t seem to notice he took your hand, but you do. It makes you feel all weird inside like you just drank a bottle of faygo, and it makes your head blur. Not in the bad way, though. In the good way. You don’t know what kind of face you are making, but it must be pretty stupid. You feel stupid. You don’t care, really. It’s been a while since you felt so much peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Damn, can you believe i filed this away in 2016? Going back to this was WILD and i had to do many rewrites. 
> 
> It was originally an entire piece, but i think that makes it a bit hard to keep up, so i decided to split it up and publish it as i make changes. It will probably not have many views, but I guess that's just occupational hazards of being a writer amirite?


End file.
